It has been a while since I have been able to post anything, so much has happened to our family since November the 12th!

On November 17, 2008 our family suffered another devastating loss. I was not feeling well that morning and had not felt well for quite a few weeks. I went on to against my husbands wishes. By 9:30 that morning, I had to call him to come pick me up. By the time he arrived I was in the floor hyperventalating and throwing up. He got me up from the floor and took me to the emergency room, by this time I could not even walk without fainting. Upon further investigating by the doctors in the emergency room we found out the I was 8 weeks pregnant!!! This was big news for us especially since we have been told that we could not conceive without the use of fertility drugs. But then came the bad news, the pregnancy was ectopic, the baby was growing in my fallopian tube not the uterus and would have to be terminated with the tube removal. This was the worst day of my life!!! We have gone thru 3 other miscarriages before but this was different, this baby was growing, had a heartbeat, was healthy and wanted to live but in order to save my life the babys life was ended. I actually got to see our baby on ultrasound before the procedure. This is not something that I will soon get over and will never forget. After the surgery we found out exactly how close I was to death. The tube had actually rupured and I had been bleeding internally for 2 or 3 days. They said if I had waited any longer to come to the hospital, I would have died that day. I had loss a massive amount of blood. The recovery from this has been long and difficult both on a physical and emotional level. The holidays this year were good, but this was always in the back of my mind. My oldest son Britt celebrated his 16th birthday on November 19. Instead of us taking his out to eat, the family had to come to the house for grilled hamburgers. This Thanksgiving was not so hot, I was still so weak I couldn't do a thing. We ate with my family at my mothers and then went home. This Christmas was better though, I have finally begun to feel better. The doctors say it will take my about 3 months to recover, until then it is very easy for me to get tired, I sleep alot. The kids had a great time with their gifts. Clete, the baby, got his green ride on John Deere tractor he had been asking for. He absolutly loved it! Britt got his gym membership and Jackson got his Powerwing. I will be attaching pictures soon.

Well, I guess that is all for this go around. I hope that this time I write, I will have massive amounts of good cheer to relay.